I had 38 weeks (to be exact!) to prepare for this moment and yet despite all the advice I've received from family, friends and books, I still find myself overwhelmed with different emotions. For starters, I love the feeling of holding and cuddling my newborn: his warmth, his smell, his coos, I love it all over again!!! This time around, I'm trying to enjoy it more, knowing that he'll grow up fast and that we probably won't have another child. But I also feel so much guilt at leaving Mateo in Nico's "custody". I couldn't have done this first week without Nico's help - he's been taking great care of Mateo the whole time - but I miss my little boy terribly. We've been inseparable for the past two years and nine months. It seems like a cruel trade off.
But then I remind myself that I wanted to have two children because I wanted them to share a love uniquely to them. Soon enough, they'll be playing (and fighting) together and a new family dynamic will evolve. Until then, we have to brave the sleepless nights, decipher the cries and the changes in behavior, but savor each moment.
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